The joy of setting up a French bank account

I’ll begin by saying we were warned.

Several people made it very plain to us: setting up a French bank account is complicated, and takes longer than you’d think. So then, the point of this blog post is a) to verify that setting up a French bank account is indeed complicated and time-consuming, and b) to vent about that.

Making an appointment

The first thing worth mentioning is that you can’t simply waltz into a French bank and set up an account. You must first make an appointment. So shortly after we arrived in Lyon, as soon as the New Years’ holidays were over, I started telephoning banks to prendre un rendezvous. The earliest available appointments at many banks were a week later. Not later that afternoon. Or the following day. A week later.

Time was of the essence, and after many telephone calls, I eventually found a bank (Le Credit Lyonnais) that was willing to set up an appointment for the following day. So we took it. More on that shortly. But first:

The Catch-22

This part is important. So pay close attention.

1. In order to set up a French bank account, you need proof of residence, like a utility bill.
2. In order to set up any French utility, you need a bank account.

Hilarious, right?

How exactly does one figure a way out of this nightmarish chicken-and-egg scenario? Here’s what we did.

Basically, we found a very generous family who were willing to lie to the bank on our behalf. _They wrote us a letter claiming that we lived with them, and also gave us copies of their _cartes de sejour and their utility bills to bring to our bank appointment. They also put our names on their mailbox, because in France, it’s apparently illegal to deliver mail if the addressee’s name doesn’t appear on the corresponding mailbox.

So yeah, if you want a French bank account, you should line up an accomplice ahead of time, because you’ll need their help when you’re lying to the bank about where you live.

The appointment itself

Bureaucracy is a French word. We were already aware of the French love of paperwork. The bank was no exception. I’ve taken courses in university that generated less paper.

All in all, the appointment was long (~90 minutes), but pretty painless. Lots of personal questions, and lots of signatures. But nothing out of the ordinary. Our appointment was on a Wednesday, and we were told that we could pick up our cheques and bank cards the following Tuesday or Wednesday. This was good news, because we were about to move into a new apartment, and our landlord would be expecting cheques. And thus began…

The wait

Speed does not seem to be a pillar of French banking. Here’s the timeline:

Day 1

We set up our account.

Day 4

Secret bank access codes arrive in the (postal) mail.

Day 6

We go to the bank to see if our cheques and bank cards are ready. The woman looks up our names on the computer, walks to a locked filing cabinet, and pulls out several envelopes with our names on them. She opens the envelopes in front of us. Our bank cards and chequebook are inside.

Success! We’ll be able to pay our landlord!

But wait. Before she hands us our new bank cards and cheques, the woman looks at the computer again. La directrice of the bank has not given her final sign-off on our account. No soup for you.

We’re told to return the following day, and we leave empty handed.

Day 7

We return to the bank to pick up our cheques and bank cards. Success! We (finally) write our landlord a cheque.

Later that day, we excitedly head to a bank machine to try out our new bank cards. We use the secret bank access codes they sent on Day 4.

The codes don’t work.

Day 8

We return to the bank to ask why the codes they sent us in the mail don’t work. As it turns out, the codes they sent in the mail were not our bank card PINs, but rather, codes for online banking. We’re told that our bank card PINs will arrive in the (postal) mail… in a few days.

Day 10

Our PINs arrive in the postal mail. We’re set. I think.

In conclusion

I started by saying setting up a French bank account is complicated, and takes longer than you’d think. That’s true. If you’re an etranger, and you want to set up a bank account, your two best assets are:

1. A person who’s willing to pretend that you live with them, and is also willing to put your name on their mailbox, give you copies of their utility bills and identity papers.
2. An awful lot of patience.

Bonne courage!

Vendredi XIII

Earlier this week, I found myself in Lyon’s 7th arrondissement, at a bar called l’Antisèche. I was there for L’UkeDunum, a new-ish monthly gathering of Lyonnais ukulele players (or, as they call themselves, ukulélistes).

I’d been in touch with the organizers, Cécile and Guillaume, earlier in the week via email. In broken French, I told them I wanted to attend their jam, but that sadly, my ukulele was still en route from Toronto, stuck in Brittany.

Cécile et Guillaume both assured me I’d be able to borrow a uke.

—

Days later, when I arrived at l’Antiseche, I asked the bartender if I was in the right place for “les ukulélés.”

“Ils n’ont pas encore arrivé,” she replied. Turns out, I was early.

So I ordered a beer (une pression), sat down, and waited for the other ukulélistes to arrive. Over the next half hour, eleven more people trickled in, all carrying ukuleles.

When organizer Cécile arrived, she handed me a ukulele, and told me I could use it for the night, and if I wanted to, I could take it home with me.

“Merci, mais ce n’est pas nécessaire,” I said. “Je vais récupérer mon ukulélé cette semaine.” My ukulele was supposed to arrive later in the week, hand-delivered by the sister of a former co-worker of Jenna’s, who weeks ago, offered to be a kind of ukulele mule.

But Cécile insisted that I keep the uke for a little while. She went on to explain that this particular ukulele came with a story. Cécile told me that this ukulele was a voyageur. She pointed inside the sound hole of the uke, which was full of names, dates, and stickers. It had been travelling across France, passed from person to person to person. The tradition started several years ago on an online Francophone ukulele forum. The forum is long gone, but the uke is still travelling.

Oh yes, and the ukulele has a name: Vendredi XIII (Friday the 13th).

There’s also a website where you can track the uke, and perhaps quaintly, V13 has a MySpace with a great little bio (translated):

It all started Friday, April 13, 2007. A benefactor named Moonuke proposed in a forum to give one of his ukuleles, a Tennessee, who would like to. Then was born the idea that the ukulele could belong to anyone and travel as from hand to hand. The adventure has begun in the Languedoc-Roussillon and then continuedalmost everywhere in Fance and in some neighboring countries such as Switzerland.

Vendredi XIII doesn’t travel alone. Inside its case, there’s a small green notebook that chronicles the uke’s travels. Before the uke is passed along to a new host, each person writes a little something in the book.

—

So, for a few weeks anyway, I’m hosting Vendredi XIII.

It’s been fun (and a good language lesson) to look through the green notebook and read about this little uke’s adventures.

But more than anything, I’m struck by that realization that so early on in my own adventure travelling in France, I’ve already become a small part of something bigger. When my time with V13 is over, I’ll write a few lines in the book, pass it along, and a small slice of my life will become part of a much bigger story. I like that.

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone.

—

Update (14 January 2012): Audio files from the night have been posted to the L’UkeDunum website, including this one, in which my voice is reasonably audible: [audio:http://theou.fr/lukedunum/fichiers/public/mp3/lukedunum_20120109_mp3/lukedunum_20120109_03_ruby%20tuesday.mp3]

This month’s theme was “Days of the Week” and this recording is en ensemble cover of Ruby Tuesday by the Rolling Stones.

How to avoid paying for 30 days of service when porting a Rogers/Fido mobile number in Canada

TL;DR: When you port a mobile number from Rogers or Fido, they try to charge you for 30 days of service beyond your port date. Here’s how I avoided paying this “port fee.”

This is a longish post, but I’m hoping it’ll be helpful for anyone who’s planning to port their number from Fido/Rogers, and wants to save a few bucks.

Recently, I ported my mobile phone number from Fido to voip.ms. When I called Fido to verify that there was nothing on my account that would prevent a port, they told me I’d have to pay for 30 days of service after my number was ported. Here’s a transcript of my online chat with Fido representative Jennifer:

FidoANSWERS! Hello Daniel Misener, my name is Jennifer, and it will be my pleasure to assist you today. Please allow me a moment to answer your question. Thank you for your patience.

Daniel Misener says: Hello, Jennifer.

Jennifer says: I’m sory to hear you are thinking of leaving Fido, may I ask why ?

Daniel Misener says: I’m leaving the country, moving to France, and need to port my Canadian number to a VOIP service.

Jennifer says: To answer your question, you have no active contract, therefore there would be no penalty if you ported out your number. You would be charged 30 days of service however.

Jennifer says: I see!

Daniel Misener says: Why would I be charged 30 days of service?

Daniel Misener says: If I port my number, after the port is successful, shouldn’t the amount I owe Fido be pro-rated?

Jennifer says: This is part of your service agreement with us, we ask for 30 days notice to terminate your service.

Daniel Misener says: May I give my notice now?

Daniel Misener says: With an end date 30 days from today?

Jennifer says: With a port out, the notice is the port itself. It would begin on the day the number leaves Fido.

Daniel Misener says: Right. My question then is, if I give my cancellation notice today, then port the number before the 30 days are up, will I still be charged 30 days after the port? Or 30 days after today?

Jennifer says: You cannot give your notice today and port your number because if there is a scheduled deactivation, your number will not be able to be ported. So for porting, the port itself is the notice and the 30 days start from that day.

Daniel Misener says: That’s a shame.

This, of course, seems crazy. Why should I pay for 30 days of service that they’re not actually delivering? Some quick Googling turned up this RFD forum thread, and this post at RogersWatch, which explains how to avoid paying for these 30 days. It seems that the CCTS (The Commissioner for Complaints for Telecommunications Services) has recognized this 30-day “port fee” as an issue. If you complain to the CCTS, you can avoid paying. RogersWatch’s advice:

1. go ahead and do your port whenever you darned well feel like it
2. after it’s all done promptly call Rogers and tell them to reverse your 30-day fee because you ported out, or else you’ll just file a complaint with CCTS about it (and CCTS will force Rogers to reverse the charge if you file a complaint)
3. if Rogers doesn’t co-operate then either escalate to OoP or CCTS (I recommend CCTS) per this Rogers complaint escalation flowchart

So then, after my port was completed, I called Fido, asked them to reverse the charges. When the Fido representative said she couldn’t, I went to the CCTS website and registered a complaint. It’s simple, and only took a few minutes. For reference, here’s my complete complaint:

Details of the contract dispute: I ported my Fido telephone number to a VOIP provider. The port became active on January 3, 2012. I telephoned Fido on January 3, 2012 to confirm that there would be no further charges on my account. The Fido representative (“Molly”) said that I would continue to be charged for 30 days of service beyond my port date — service that I would not receive, a sum of ~$44.

Date the contract began: [I left this blank]

Date the contract terminated, will terminate or renewed: 2011-12-28

Date you became aware of the dispute: 2012-01-03

What steps did you take to resolve the matter with your TSP? I asked the Fido representative (“Molly”) to reverse the charges internally, as I should not have to pay for services that I will not receive.

What did your TSP say/do? The Fido representative (“Molly”) told me that she could not reverse the charges. I informed her that I would make a complaint to the CCTS.

What do you consider to be a reasonable resolution to your dispute? A reasonable resolution would be for Fido to reverse the charges, so I am not paying for service that they are not delivering to me.

Other organization? [I left this blank]

Two days later, I received an email from the CCTS, confirming that they had received my complaint, and that it fell under their mandate:

Re: [CASE NUMBER]

Dear Daniel Misener,

Thank you for contacting the Commissioner for Complaints for Telecommunications Services (CCTS). The CCTS is an independent agency with a mandate to receive, facilitate the resolution of, and, if necessary, resolve eligible consumer and small business complaints relating to certain retail telecommunications services.

We have received your complaint [CASE NUMBER] and hereby advise you that your complaint falls within the scope of our mandate and will be processed in accordance with our Procedural Code (the “Code”), which can be found at:

http://www.ccts-cprst.ca/en/documents/procedural-code

We encourage you to review the Code so that you are aware of the complaint resolution process as well as your rights and responsibilities as a customer.

In accordance with Section 6.5 of the Code, we have forwarded your complaint to your telecommunications services provider (TSP). Pursuant to Section 6.6 of the Code, your TSP is to:

a) within 15 days of receipt of the complaint advise the CCTS in writing, with a copy to you, that the TSP objects to the complaint on the basis that in their view, it should not be investigated pursuant to the Procedural Code or any other lawful reason;

b) within 30 days of receipt of the complaint advise the CCTS in writing, with a copy to you, that the complaint has been resolved to the mutual satisfaction of both you and the TSP; or

c) within 30 days of receipt of the complaint advise the CCTS in writing, with a copy to you, that the complaint remains unresolved and of the TSP’s intention to file a written response thereto.

In the event that your TSP responds that the complaint has been resolved to the mutual satisfaction of both you and the TSP and you disagree that the matter has been resolved, you must advise CCTS within 20 days of your TSP’s response.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your complaint, or anything contained in this correspondence, please do not hesitate to contact us.

CCTS

P.O. Box 81088

Ottawa, ON

K1P 1B1

1-888-221-1687

Please ensure to retain this correspondence for future reference.

Sincerely,

CCTS Assessment Team

The following day, an email from the Office of the President at Rogers:

Dear Daniel Misener,

This e-mail is in response to the incident that was referred to us by the Commissioner for Complaints for Telecommunications Services (CCTS) [CASE NUMBER]. First and foremost, we would like to thank you for taking the time to share your observations with us. Feedback from customers is always appreciated.

In response, we would like to clarify that according to Fido’s Terms and Conditions, which govern all services provided by Fido explicitly state:

“…you may terminate any or all of your Services upon no less than 30 days’ advance notice…” and “… Applicable charges continue to apply until the end of the notice period or until the Services are no longer accessible by you, whichever is later. The transfer of your telephone number to another telecommunications service provider constitutes a termination of the applicable Service(s)…”

Should you wish to consult the Fido Terms and Conditions, you may do so via www.Fido.ca or on the abbreviated version on page 2 of every Fido invoice. Please note that this is a common practice amongst Canadian carriers, as such it may be an applicable condition for your new service provider as well.

A review of your files reveals that Fido has received notice of your cancellation on January 3, 2012 upon the transfer of your telephone number to another telecommunications service provider, as such the 30 days notice period applies as of this date. We were thus unable to find any billing errors. Notwithstanding the above, in view of finding an amicable resolution Fido is prepared to offer the following:

• As a goodwill gesture credit $44.44 which represents the monthly service fees (taxes included) to be charged on your final invoice.

Your final invoice will be issued in date of January 14, 2012. Any usage fees above and beyond your monthly service plan remain legitimate

It is understood that the above option was offered in the sole optic of finding an amicable resolution, is without prejudice and in no way constitutes an admission of liability on the part of Fido.

We consider the above incident resolved.

And the same day, another email from the Office of the President at Rogers, addressed to the CCTS, cc’ing me:

Dear CCTS,

Concerning the CCTS complaint number # [CASE NUMBER], we have contacted Daniel Misener by e-mail and successfully reached a satisfactory resolution by applying the requested credit as a goodwill gesture (monthly service fees of the final invoice).

Should you or our client have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact us.

I also received an email the same day from Fido — an “account change confirmation” detailing the charges on my account that would be reversed.

So then, it seems that the advice from RogersWatch is solid: Port your number, and once the port is completed, call Fido/Rogers to request that the 30-day fee be reversed. If they don’t cooperate, complain to the CCTS. It worked for me, and it was an easy way to avoid paying $44.44.

“That tech show”

Back in June 2007, I got an email from Nora Young. The subject line read:

that tech show

At the time, I knew Nora had been working on a pitch for a show called Spark. I’d heard the pilots, and they sounded great. But in June 2007, when I first got Nora’s message, I had no idea that I’d end up spending the next four and a half years of my working life on “that tech show.”

Working on Spark has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve done in my time at CBC Radio. Every day, I work alongside a small team of really talented people, making the kind of show I’d want to listen to (I mean, seriously, what other show would let me dedicate the majority of a broadcast to an in-depth look at the history of QWERTY?). I count myself very, very lucky. Sometimes people ask me what I do for living, and I tell them, “I call up smart, interesting people, talk to them, and put them on the radio.” Sure beats any other job I’ve ever had.

Which is why today is bittersweet.

Today is my last day working at Spark for at least for a year. And even though I’m leaving for a pretty awesome year-long adventure in France, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit misty-eyed. I’m going to miss it all: the story meetings, recording interviews, slicing and dicing tape in Pro Tools, and interacting with “the broader Spark community.” But more than anything, I’m going to miss Nora and the whole team who work so hard to put Spark together every week.

Spark, when it works — when it really, really nails it — is a show about what’s next. It’s a forward-looking show made by forward-looking people. So yes, I’m sad to be leaving. But at the same time, I can’t wait to hear what Spark comes up with next.

I’ll be listening.

The Gap

PRX’s Jake Shapiro, on what he calls the public media developer gap:

I look around our public media field and beyond and see a worrisome gap.

As public broadcasting goes through its own turbulent transition to a new Internet and mobile world, the technology talent gap is a risk that looms large. Yes, there are many other challenges: political and policy battles, business model pressures, cultural and structural obstacles, the need for strategic vision and leadership. And there are other recruitment needs across general management, content, fundraising. But the twin coins of the new digital realm are code and design, and with a few notable exceptions, public media is seriously lacking in both.

Spot on, and pitch perfect. This is a huge part of the reason I’m taking a year off, moving to France and teaching myself to be a programmer-journalist.

Here’s hoping they let me start CBC Labs when I get back.